


Discoveries During A Rainy Day

by Tsuki (lunarrainbows)



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-15
Updated: 2011-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-27 09:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/294287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarrainbows/pseuds/Tsuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amidst the pouring rain, one is finally able to admit his true feelings. With a few bumps and turns along the way, will the recipient falter under these feelings, or accept them as they look towards the future?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discoveries During A Rainy Day

Overcast skies loomed overhead, casting shadows upon everything in sight. The silence was overwhelming, and as the skies darkened further with the promise of rain, the long reign of silence was broken by the loud sounds of rolling thunder. Crackling above with increasing intensity, the next loud clap of thunder gave way to the rain. With a flash of white-hot lightning among the obscured skies, the torrent of rain started.

It was days like this that Lavi enjoyed the most. They normally brought others down, yet it was almost the complete opposite for him. Finding it incredibly easier to work, and simply find something to occupy himself with, he took to these days like he would if he ever had a few days away from Bookman. He grasped every waking moment within his hands, knowing that such a desired moment wouldn't last forever. As much as he wished that he could, it would prove futile. Such an action would have tipped something off to everyone else that he was not thinking with his mind, and instead he was going with his heart. Giving an insight to his inner thoughts was something that he wasn't fond of doing, but as he went over his interactions with everyone in the Black Order, he found that perspective was slowly starting to change. It wasn't unwelcome to him, but it was something that made Lavi take a second look at things.

Standing in front of the window, one lone green eye peered out into the gloom. It was refreshing to see something so cleansing take place around him, knowing that it wasn't as easy to wash away all of the worries and sins that have accumulated within him. What he failed to realize was that he was changing, and although it was slow at first, he was shedding the cold, careless personas of before. He was gradually becoming his latest persona completely, setting himself free of his previous ones as he began to experience things that were once thought lost to him. It was all due to _that_ exorcist, the one that had changed everything for him. It was all due to his interactions with Allen Walker that everything that Bookman worked so hard into making him become began to fall apart and crumble right before Lavi's very eyes.

He couldn't deny that he was very fond of the snowy haired teen, after all, who wouldn't be after they got to know him? He brought so many smiles to everyone that he met, effectively lifting them out of their depressed views of life. In their eyes, Allen was a saint, yet as Lavi watched him from the sidelines, he could tell that he was just as hurt and bloodstained as any other exorcist in this war. _Putting up such a front to reassure everyone that things are alright…Allen shouldn't have to face things alone. I should kick myself for just realizing this now, but now that I do know, I can find a way to help the bean sprout._ The bright flash of lightning had him shielding his eyes as he was jolted out of his thoughts. Sighing, he turned around and glanced at the desk that had several books, scrolls, and papers scattered over it. "Can't let this go unfinished. Better get back to work." he said softly to himself, taking his former seat again with some reluctance.

Awhile back, he had taken off his headband, finding it easier to concentrate when he was comfortable. It wasn't often that he did that, but he figured that he could use some sort of comfort as he slaved over the rest of the paperwork that he needed to finish. _Damn Jiji. He knows days like this my attention span for work is shot. That's probably exactly why he's making me do this too._ Mentally cursing the fact that he had to work, he tried to focus his attention on the book in front of him with little success. Just as he was about to push the book away from him, he was startled as the noise from the library doors opening resonated throughout the room. Catching sight of a snowy head, he grinned. "Oi Allen! What are you doing here?" he asked happily, extremely pleased that something could distract himself from his work for even a short while.

Whirling around, Allen yelped softly as he finally spotted Lavi. He had thought that no one was here in the library, so he thought it was safe for him to seek solace in it. Seeing the cheerful face of the redhead, he found himself proven wrong. "Aack, Lavi! Don't do that!" he yelled out, pushing down the urge to attack something. Turning his head slightly so he could look out the large window, he sighed in what Lavi recognized as exhaustion. "I didn't know anyone was here." He admitted, turning surprised grey eyes towards him once more. Cocking his head to the side briefly, Lavi glanced over him critically. It wasn't like Allen to forget that he was almost always in the library when he was working on something for either Komui or Jiji. Gesturing to the chair beside him, he watched as Allen slumped in the chair. "Allen, are you alright?" he asked, genuinely worried about his friend's mental health.

When Allen lifted his head the second time to meet his eyes with Lavi's own, it was then that he knew things were falling apart around the younger exorcist. "No Lavi, everything isn't alright." his soft spoken words were laced with pain, and above all, longing. What he wished that would happen instead of what was currently going on was beyond him. To know that was to know the pain that Allen was experiencing currently. Lavi was a little uncomfortable, but he hid this as he addressed the issue at hand. "You want to talk about it sprout?" Seeing him react favorably to the despised nickname, he let a small grin snake itself up on his lips. It was nice to see that Allen was still in there, and not drowning in depression. It didn't seem right to see such a happy person so serious all the time, and to have wrestled a smile out of Allen, it made Lavi himself feel good. _I was the one to make the sprout smile, not anyone else. He came to me for help._ The thoughts of him being the one that Allen stayed around to talk to had touched him more than he ever thought it would. He would come to think of it later as he had time to think. Now, he was actually needed. More so it was 'Lavi' that was needed. The thing was…did it truly matter _whom_ was really needed when he was becoming this persona inside and out?

Lavi noticed how quiet and withdrawn Allen had gotten when he came to face everyone after learning about his master's disappearance. He tried to put up a happy front, but as Lavi saw beneath his pained smiles, he could see how hard he was taking it. It was something that would change him inside and out, and he could see the once angelic personality becoming ever so lightly tainted by the cruelties of the real world once more. He detested the fact that this had to happen, but he knew that there wasn't anything that they could do once fate intervened.

 _I just hope that he doesn't change too much, we can't have him acting like Yu…like that would ever happen of course. I can't be all too sure though. I need to keep an eye on the sprout. If he drops into depression, who knows what will happen. Especially with Leverrier here to monopolize that._ Lavi was worried that Allen would indeed drop into depression, if any of the indications towards that meant anything. They needed to cheer the younger exorcist up, and hopefully get his mind off what was happening currently. While it was obvious that they couldn't do that entirely, they needed to at least try to help him. _Its not just because of his status as the Destroyer of Time, its because he's a comrade, and there's something else about him…_ While he wasn't ready to admit it flat out, he knew that there was something special about the bean sprout that drew himself, and others to him. That something else also was what was causing some unexpected changes within Lavi.

As he thought about it, most of this started after the order learned that Allen was killed by Tyki Mikk. He couldn't even begin to describe the myriad of emotions that he felt once this news reached him, and he felt an overwhelming sadness blanket him for the first time in such a long, long time. He even stupidly tried to go and kill the Noah, having little luck in doing so. The only one that held the ability among the younger exorcists to go toe to toe with that Noah was Allen, and he wasn't ashamed to admit that. _I'm just glad that Allen came back to us. Things were crazy within the order when they heard what happened to him._ Breaking himself from his thoughts, he focused his attention on the white haired exorcist once more.

While it looked as if Allen was lost, he hit the mark with his next question. It was one that he knew that Allen wouldn't want to admit at all, considering his past with Cross, but he couldn't help but to ask it all the same. "You miss him, don't you sprout?" Lavi's cautious question caused what was left of the restraints on his emotions to crumble. Nodding wordlessly, Allen could feel his eyes tear up as he breathed in shallowly. He never would have thought that he would miss that horrible man, the one that ended up making his life hell on more than one occasion, but as he soon realized, he missed Cross more than he would rather admit. He was the closest to a father figure that he's ever had since Mana was alive, but even then with what he knew now about him, could he still consider him a father? Wasn't he only looking out for his brother instead of seeing himself? Allen wasn't sure what he thought anymore. What he once thought was fact before had shattered right before his very eyes. _Just what can I believe in anymore? Things have changed so much…its all too confusing._ It was almost as if Lavi could hear his thoughts as he slung an arm over his shoulders.

"Don't lose faith Allen-chan, you're one of the strongest people I know. If you start losing faith, what would happen to the rest of us?" He pulled him into a one armed hug, one that Allen drew comfort from. Sighing, he closed his eyes as he savored the feeling on closeness that he was receiving. He knew that Lavi was right, but at the same time he couldn't help but to think of the what-ifs. Opening his eyes once more, he glanced at Lavi gratefully. His grey eyes shone with thankfulness, yet as Lavi studied those bright eyes, he could still see the sorrow that was held beneath. "You're actually pretty insightful when you want to be baka usagi." he retorted, smirking at the squawk of indigence that issued itself from Lavi's person. Lavi had noticed how Allen shied away from his previous statement, but he couldn't bring himself to bring it up currently. What stood out in his mind was that Allen, who seemed untouchable to guys like him, wasn't shying away from skin contact with him.

"Oi Allen! You forget who you're talking about here! Of course I'd be like this." he boasted, vaguely alluding to his status as bookman's apprentice. It was something that he had to learn, seeing as being brash all the time wasn't the right way to go about things. He learned this quickly, and it stuck with him through the years. Although Lavi's voice clearly held indignation within his tone, his lone green eye betrayed him. It was sparkling with happiness, clearly glad to distract Allen from his sorrows. Turning back to his work, he smiled. "It's a good thing that you came here to distract me from my work. I thought I was going to die here on such a great day, too! Stupid Panda…" he complained, before leaning back in his own chair.

Breaking out into strained laughter, he shook his head. "What are we going to do with you Lavi? Especially with how you're trying to escape work…just what would Bookman say?" Hearing Lavi scoff, he could only grin. It was obvious that he didn't want to hear about what Bookman would say, after all he wanted to slack off, not be yelled at. The day was just starting after all. Being only a little after noon, Lavi was a bit surprised to see that Allen wasn't hungry, but it placed that on both his feelings, and with the current situation at hand. Moving to stand, he let out a loud yelp as he realized his scarf was caught around the leg of the chair he was once sitting in, and as it pulled tight, he was sent colliding into Allen. The two fell to the ground in a heap, sprawled out in an odd position, Lavi laying conveniently on top of Allen. With a groan, Allen opened bleary grey eyes.

"Oooow baka usagi, did you have to do that?" he asked, not realizing how close they were now. When he finally did realize that there was a weight atop him, he caught sight of fiery red hair and one impish green eye. Blushing darkly, he stared in shock as Lavi grinned down at him.

"Hey sprout, is this fate or what?" he asked brightly, and Allen couldn't help but to think that he wanted this to happen. No, he knew that Lavi had somehow orchestrated things to happen this way, but it might've not happened exactly the way he wanted it to. _But why would he do that? I don't understand…_ Allen's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, and one thought continued to make itself known to him again and again as silence blanketed itself over the room. He could faintly hear his heart beating in his ears, and he thought that he couldn't get any more embarrassed by how close they were. In fact, he was wrong, dead wrong.

The cute confused look upon Allen's face spurred on his next action. He had been wanting to see what could come from this one action, and now he finally felt that it was the right time to do so. He knew that bookmen weren't supposed to have hearts, but as he stared down into shocked grey eyes, he knew that he had a heart, and it was with the holder of these beautiful grey eyes, the one that had his supposedly non existing heart beating. "Allen…" He said softly, pulling back from the brief kiss he initiated between the two. It was like bliss, just with the brief meeting of their lips. It was so forbidden, yet oh so cherished at the same time. He wanted more, but at the same time he was afraid that Allen was going to reject him.

 _Look at me, just when I finally realize I'm different than I was before, I go and turn into an emotional mess. What's wrong with me? This needs to stop….yet at the same time, I don't want it to._ Lavi was so torn between his duty as bookman jr, and what was now the holder of his awakening heart. The shocked look in Allen's eyes scared him more than he realized, and as he began to speak, he sucked in a shaky breath.

"L-Lavi, why did you do that? I don't understand." Looking so lost, he laughed unsteadily. It was obvious that such a person that looked ready to break wouldn't understand his building feelings towards him. It was just like him to keep looking forwards, not paying much attention to the personal feelings of the ones around him.

Rolling off of him, he sat up and ran a hand through his red locks. "Isn't it obvious Allen, I like you. A while lot actually." to him, his voice sounded to tiny, so unsure. He was beating himself up over how pitiful he sounded when Allen spoke again.

"Really?" That one question had so much hope and fear attached to it, and it caused Lavi to reel back at the intensity of the emotions attached to it. Nodding wordlessly, he was surprised when Allen offered a shaky smile in return. He wasn't sure on what he should think about this situation, but as the rain continued to pour down outside, he was encased in a loose hug by his cherished bean sprout. "I don't know really what to say, but I do feel closer to you than I've ever felt for anyone. I guess we can figure out things together?" he asked, look up at him for confirmation.

Sighing in relief, he held Allen closer to him. "That's all I'll ask sprout, I'm glad you didn't push me away." They sat there, just basking in each other's presence as the rain poured down with increasing intensity outside. As he stared outside, a small smile made itself known on Lavi's lips. Rainy days were indeed good ones, and this one was going to be remembered by him always.

 _It was the day that Allen came into my arms, one that I wouldn't give back for the world._


End file.
